*____I just want to be happy___

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Hmm finally it's the end of my attachment at NUS. Well it was a good experience but my entire holiday is gone... Ahhh I want my holiday back...
Moody..
I came home, walked around
Don't feel like doing anything
Brought my dog out for a walk
Alone
Looking at the cloudy sky
Trying to stop thinking
Being myself

At ease

singing to the wind[9:31 pm]

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Saturday, December 25, 2010

Merry Christmas!

Oh I spent the entire day reading book, watching TV and online drama as if the word 'Homework' has just poofed from my dictionary. Ahh I wonder if I really can finish them, considering my lack of efficiency and will to do it.

I was just watching some detective drama serial.. so cool.. the male leads are ^^ I shall not comment. Almost all the dramas will have a romantic fairytale like love story as one of the main plot. I sometimes wonder if it happens in real life. I guess every girl will wish to have their own fairytales and I am a girl. Sometimes I wonder.. I wonder about alot of things.. like BGR well I have never had any experience.. Well after wondering I'll have to get back on Earth.

Shall leave this post as it is.. to our imagination =D

singing to the wind[6:01 pm]

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Tuesday, December 21, 2010

I was just stuck in my thoughts about whether the truth matters, then I got enlightened by reading my friend's blog. I was beginning to feel that I grew more candid as the days past and sometimes my words are biting.. I feel bad about saying the truth of what I felt. It's true that the truth is often harsh and unpleasant. Certain things are better off unsaid. I should learn to be more constructive in the things I say. While that comforted me a bit that all is not lost and that I can save myself from becoming a monstrous cynical person. haha =D

I sometimes wonder if there is a problem thinking too much... It's true that everything good can become bad if obsession happens.. I should take things easy.. and relax.. Come on life goes on..

Learn to cherish the trivial parts of life and enjoy the moments of laid back fun
The present is a precious gift.

singing to the wind[10:44 pm]

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Sunday, December 19, 2010

Our Christmas caroling at SGH yesterday and the songs I was listening to yesterday inspired this display picture =D Romantic Christmas feel ^^ Although I don't really celebrate Christmas, I really appreciate the presents. I guess everyone likes receiving presents because it makes us feel remembered in somebody's heart. I like Christmas because it is romantic and pretty.. sad that it doesn't snow in Singapore. Anw hope everyone will have a happy Christmas.. (I was watching Harry Potter 1 yesterday night that's what they said to each other =D)

Holiday season makes me happy.. although I don't really have a decent holiday and next year will be a hectic year without a good break.. so I guess I shall cherish my holiday and start on my holiday work... Sad time is flying past and my homework are not done I would say all the homework that I had actually tried to do was completed in NUS... I don't have time to do it at home... well cos I don't do work on weekday nights and weekends I go out for various purposes. I am going out today too (to shop) Hmm I need to plan

Well I need to exercise I am so unfit. ( well that's probably empty talk) I guess I'll try doing the CCA accounts first.. then Math and I&I which I haven started at all... argh >< And I need to read more... READ
Haiz

lalala

Recently more and more people lock their blogs and I began wondering if I should
I wonder if all this while I write for people to read and if I wanted people to visit my blog.
I guess...
I feel neglected by my friends sometimes.. sometimes I feel nonexistent... I never intended to lock my blog because I want to know if people care
I guess that's the insecurity I am talking about in my previous posts...
I am never really good at expressing myself with words.. and I hope nobody will misunderstand
I am never who you think I am.. I don't even know who I am myself... sometimes I think I am a simple person.. but that isn't really true
I try to be the perfect person I want to be.. but I start to feel that I am faking myself... I don't know... I want to be true to myself but that really hard... well that's digression.. I think I should delete this part.. I feel that I am writing dangerous stuff on this blog.. things other may choose to leave out or write in their locked blogs.. but I guess I don't need to worry that much cos not many people read my blog..

Come on I shall get on and stop dwelling on such reverie

singing to the wind[12:08 pm]

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Saturday, December 18, 2010

Songs that touched my heart =)

singing to the wind[11:10 am]

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Wednesday, December 15, 2010

-- 答案

我不知道，我真的不知道。
前路茫茫，有时真的觉得很迷惘
我想了很久，很久。
想了，累了
也得不到答案。
也许人生并没有一个完全队的答案。
看着身边的人，忙忙碌碌
你我擦肩而过
你还会记得我吗？

我不知道我这些日子来在追求些什么
我也不懂为什么我在意别人的眼光
到底什么才最重要？
我知道逃避不会给我带来答案，
但我不想再想了。

Hope Faith and Passion can lead to continue walking down the journey of Life.

-- 午夜狂想

沉沦在无止尽的遐想
那声嘶力竭的呐喊
在大雨中奔跑的澎湃
我不愿醒来。

Whimsical thought...

singing to the wind[9:09 pm]

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Monday, December 13, 2010

Time flies.. no matter what we do..
whether pain or pleasure
It will past and its only memories that last.

Sometimes I feel very confused..when I feel sad I want to think through and immerse in emoness before getting myself out of it. I guess there are lessons to be learnt in all the things we do.

When I feel happy.. I worry about how long the happiness will last. I worry about being too comfortable in my comfort zone. I guess I am chronically insecure. I need to feel safe.

What contradicts is, I know there is no point worrying or feeling sad because that is just wasting my life away. I do not know what is the right way to lead a life. Whether what I chose is right for me. I guess all I need to know is that I will not regret.

I have always loved this song. Maybe I give me a source of comfort and strength...

It's my Life -- Bon Jovi

This ain't a song for the brokenhearted
No silent prayer for the faith departed
And I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd
You're gonna hear my voice when I shout it out loud

It's my life
It's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
I just wanna live while I'm alive

(It's my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said, "I did it my way"
I just wanna live while I'm alive
'Cause it's my life

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Now for something light-hearted...
Well my stay in RWS haha.. erm the suite room was huge.. with toilets bigger than my bedroom haha I always wonder why suite rooms have huge toilets... I mean its such a waste of space.
We watched Narnia -- the dawn voyager at Vivo on Sat.. well it was great.. this story and the effects... I particularly like the part about battling the evil within oneself. No one is born good or bad.. it all depends on the choices we make.

Well USS haha it was blazing hot yesterday.. I feel roasted. I realise I do not have food allergies but I have many skin allergies.. I am like allergic to the sun, rain, sweat, some types of cloth and cosmetics. >< Now my arms are itching. argh

But it was fun.. the place was very meticulously design and build.. very nice architecture..the rides are a little disappointing cos they were all very short...well I tot the Jurassic park river ride was great.. the part where we entire some creepy dino research facility.. but my parents din like
I like the Revenge of the Mummy the best. the roller coaster ride was really FAST and DARK omg sooo scary.. I scream until I had almost no voice haha
I love the shows more than the rides... Especially the water world, Monster Rock musical (i tot the Dracula impersonator was quite handsome haha) and the sound stages and movie effect studio ^^.. haha Shrek 4D is not as good as the hongkong disneyland's mickeymouse one.. except for the spider part which I screamed hahaha

well I guess its worth it for $72 cos I manage to complete touring all the attractions that were open except the feris wheel.

These are memories I wud love to keep.
I want to be happy.

singing to the wind[11:13 am]

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Thursday, December 09, 2010

: - ( : - < : - )

hahaha My dad is soooo cute! I am so sorry to keep my dad waiting everyday at NUS... well I must do something about it. lalala

I'm luving things... life is great =D

I need to be appreciative of what I have already and not moan over yesterday's failure... well shouldn't feel sad unnecessarily =)

Research is really fun.. I learnt alot of things like how to use a microtome.. spectrophotometer etc.. so cool still got RT-PCR and cell counting...

Going sentosa for family holiday from tmr to sunday...so cool
Well the only sad part is that no hw is going to get done again full time attachment until end of the year is like ><

heehee I talk to Xin Yi everyday about all sort of stuff and recently we were talking about chinese literature works.. I realise I do like chinese lit. it's cool

诗词曲文歌戏舞各有学问
它们美在表达了情景而不是内容
触动人们的心房
闭上眼睛欣赏是人生一大快事

singing to the wind[10:08 pm]

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Tuesday, December 07, 2010

My sister asks me why I always have the mindset that my friends would be prepared for all the olympiads and tests and anything other thing and I always think I pale in comparison in terms of 'hardworkingness'. I don't think I am wrong in thinking that way anyway. I think I don't work hard enough if I even prepared for tommorow's prac round at all. I don't have the time anyway.

Hmm Sometimes I worry if I depend on luck too much.. of course I hope I am doing the right time not mugging my guts out. In fact, I only mug 4 sets of bio O notes out of the 20 i think (with some that I never even opened) the previous round and this time round I only studied histology hmm.. well well so I shouldnt expect much right.

I think I contradict myself alot. Sometimes I think I am a weakling in terms of many things. But I shall bow to the wisdom of Leona's lyrics from stone heart -- 'There's alot of strength in weakness'

I think I shall just stay within my comfort zone doing what I am doing and leaving the rest to fall into place by itself... But I do worry that I might not be able to take the strong currents in the open sea if I am too attuned to my comfort zone. Shall not worry too much ...

singing to the wind[9:23 pm]

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