*____I just want to be happy___

Saturday, January 28, 2012

It's scary how fast time flies. It's been almost two months since A levels ended. I either idled my time away at home or work for such long hours. I haven't had much time to think clearly. I ought to stay away from all these gadgets (laptop and andriod stuff have been eating away my time for some quiet reflection). It's just like some terrible addiction. I'll try no matter how futile the effort will be to live a more concrete/real life. I really feel the need to do something, to complete something, so my life wouldn't be so aimless.

But the starting part is the most difficult part of everything... Oh wells, I gotta be tougher.

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Here's something worth thinking about:

It's sad.
I always wonder what guys have up in their heads. Pretty haha. Are looks that important? I feel like crying when I listen to nicole sing this song. The feeling is so raw. It really does break the heart when the guy only loves the girl for her looks. So meaningless. So empty. So superficial. It's a sad plight for a pretty girl. But at least there is someone who love you for your looks. People like us gets nothing at all. Well, i should stop thinking about such stuff, it's not good for the brain.

singing to the wind[1:04 pm]

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Saturday, January 21, 2012

Chinese New year is coming soon! Haha but I don't have any plans. Oh wells, it's okay I will enjoy it nevertheless.

I am beginning to understand how is it like to be working. This Thursday was really an experience of a lifetime. I was scolded for 1h by my supervisor's assistant. No one has ever scold me this long other than my parents. Because of that I got home at 9pm that day. I didn't rebut her throughout. Because any protest will only prolong the torture with the result being the same. I guess I learnt 在外面没有人会给你面子，忍气吞声是必然的. My experience in quarreling with my sister tells me that if people wants to ruin your day, you annoy them the most if you come out unaffected. I know my techniques ought to improve but there is no need to nitpick every single thing and repeat the same thing for 1h. My supervisor did the same thing I did, what's so wrong with that. Isn't it like 吹毛求疵。I do feel sad but I will not take this negatively. I will try to improve so that she will have nothing to pick on anymore. Jiayous. Life is tough as an adult-to-be. Feeling the pinch of the high cost of living in Singapore.

On a lighter note, how's everyone doing? I miss all of you. Drop me a tag if you come by my blog. I just watched Nanyang's corporate video. I was reminded of times we spent there. So unforgettable. I never regretted choosing Nanyang over Raffles. I love Nanyang and forever will. I didn't get to go back during CNY cos I had to work. Such a pity :( The video brings back so many fond memories. hah nostalgia.

My working hours are so long and the pay is low. I need more time for myself. To indulge in my usual whimsies and reveries. To think about my future. To find my destiny. Ohh...

singing to the wind[12:59 pm]

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Thursday, January 12, 2012

Oh wells. 该来得还是要来得，只不过是迟了一点而已。是，内心是有一股失望涌上来。想宣泄一下。我没必要压抑自己的情绪，但还是选择了淡淡的用时间慢慢地冲淡我的伤痛。其实我根本没有失去什么，那不是我的，始终都不是。

我承认我没有目标，只是在茫茫的人海中随波逐流。但我不希望这会成为我失败的原因。

I guess I have learnt alot these few weeks during my internship. In a way, its a sneak preview of adulthood -- the period of independence, responsibility and choices. I see people working for practically most of their waking hours. I am pretty sure this is not what I want. I don't want to start stuck in a mad rush to move forward and neglect the present. Is it possible to have work-life balance and success. Is it too much to ask for? I want to live a life. I want to cherish the beauty of the present. The very people around me, the place I am in, the nature.

I guess I should not worry too much. I ought to have more confidence. No matter what I eventually choose, I hope it will be a great journey to embark. I will continue to put in my best effort in every work (hopefully) and be passionate about what I choose to do. 'Make that 50 to 100' Be contented but don't stop learning and striving. 学而不思则罔，思而不学则殆

singing to the wind[10:54 pm]

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Monday, January 09, 2012

Recently discovered the singer of my long-time love :)

I guess I am a very easily touched girl. Enrique's looks aside, his voice totally melted my heart. If anyone ever sing this song with this kind of emotions to me, I will totally fall head over heels for that person. Haha just joking. I love him.

Here's another song I like recently :P

Hope you'll enjoy them as much as I did.

singing to the wind[10:10 pm]

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Saturday, January 07, 2012

I think I kind of miss the old days. I think I miss school, miss the friends, miss the feeling of playing and studying together. Although I am glad the stress and torment of exams are over. I miss monodeal as well. I haven't played monodeal since the last time I played in HwaChong, which is like half a year ago. I suddenly realise how nice is it to catch up with old friends and just chat for an afternoon. Maybe even play some monodeal. I guess nostalgia is setting in. Feeling old already eh? Hope someone can organise a monodeal outing :P

I shall go back to Nanyang and Hwachong during Chinese new year :). I hope I'll remember. My memory has been degrading ever since exams ended. I learn better with a teacher. Now I find great difficulty trying to read up circulatory system in an attempt to prevent brain degeneration. I stopped after 4 pages or so. I hope my passion for science in not dying. I suddenly can't feel that raw love anymore. And I am trying to resuscitate it.

I guess adult life is very different from student days. Very much more independent. Instead of getting more freedom I feel more restricted by reality. The practicality of society. The pinch of adult fare and all. The greater responsibility and expectation. The childhood idealism has indeed faded. But I guess its for a good reason. I ought to gain some maturity to deal with new challenges of adulthood. The future seems so ... uncertain. I realise I don't like the jobs that I used to think I like. For example, I don't like it when u have to deal with toxic chemicals during research. (maybe I should have studied physics haha) I don't like the the emotional struggle of being a doctor. I don't like any thing other than science. So what can I do? Nothing. The only thing I can do is to live with everything I don't like and make do with it. Maybe make the best out of it. Hope the future remains bright and beautiful.

singing to the wind[11:15 pm]

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Sunday, January 01, 2012

Happy new year everybody!

May this year be full of hope, happiness and love :D I hope this year will be a meaningful year with a whole lot of much needed miracles. My new year resolution shall be to spent less time on the computer and more time closer to nature. Actually the peaceful serene life that I earned for is well within reach, I just need to do it. Hahh...

With everybody moving forward with their aspirations, I hope I will not be leave behind. Looking back at all the friendship forged over the years, though not many I really hope it would last. I am not very good at maintaining relationships but I do hope my sincerity is felt. Oh I really want to go kite flying I hope I can find someone with similar interest soon. Cause it will be odd to go alone.

Oh another of my new year resolution is to get a job that revolves around animals :) Hopefully I can find one soon.

Jiayou to everyone and to me too :D

singing to the wind[12:38 pm]

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