Friday, February 24, 2012

Last day of my internship at the lab. My boss and supervisor praised my report but they also commented that they could feel that this is not a topic that I really like. Haha sometimes subtle things can be felt. I am just not good at hiding my feelings. I can't lie and I don't pretend very well too. Although I don't like biochemistry very much, I enjoyed my time in the lab and really appreciate all the guidance they provided. Haha and I really need to thank my boss for the wonderful lunch treat. Oh opps and now I realised I have not taken a single photo with them. Ahh wells. Hope we'll keep in touch.

Now that I have done research in NUS, NTU and A*star, I have a pretty good view of the research industry. I have to say that not all research sectors are doing well and the industry is not as lucrative as it seems. Realities are harsh. I think healthcare is a more secure industry. Oh wells, I wouldn't eliminate research as a possible career plan but it wouldn't be the primary focus. After some fumbling, I am beginning to hear my inner calling. Although its a bit late (my UCAS courses now don't fit anymore I guess I'll just study in NUS), it better than never. I just hope my future experiences will not shatter the idealism. Because initial interest only takes into account the good sides.

Haha I am just thinking to myself. Maybe I should take web designing electives in Uni, wonder if that is possible. Then can have an extra set of skill. Increase employability haha. Web designing is fun, but the coding part is not my forte. In fact, I hardly know how to do that. I always do my blogskin html coding via trial and error for a thousand times before I get it right. The irritating thing about programming is that if u miss a letter or a symbol the whole thing simply doesn't work. And finding the error is like finding a needle in a haystack ><

I like designing, although my techniques are rather amateurish. I designed a card for my boss as a token of appreciation. The end product does look pretty cool. I should buy more canon paper in the future.

singing to the wind[10:25 pm]

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Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Hahh my new blogskin :) the more properly done one. This reflects my feelings at the moment. I want a breather. Breath.. Take it as a breeze...

I like this new song. The lyrics are so meaningful. Hahh

Hope you'll like it.

singing to the wind[11:09 pm]

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Sunday, February 19, 2012

Sometimes I wonder why Colorgenics test is so accurate in deciphering my thoughts. It seems to see through me more than anyone else. Yes I am feeling stressed out and I hope that my 'desires will shortly be fulfilled (even if at this time you are not quite sure what those true aspirations may be!). ' Because I am having enough of my inability to find my dreams and passion. It is true that I feel left alone and 'no one seems to care'. But I guess the test fall short of recognizing the fact that I understand that I am having those thought because I am being too self-centered. There's a world out there. I am not the only person with problems and no one is obliged to help. I ought to be the one helping people out there that are less fortunate. I ought to be more contented.

Well yes, it does seem to me that 'my hopes and dreams have not been realized to the point that I am beginning to doubt myself'. I guess the problem is I am not putting enough efforts. I am expecting too much, giving too little.

I love to 'get away from everything' but that's escapism. I keep telling myself to be happy, love life. But I am not. It's time to believe I have the power to change things.

It's timely that I do the test to find out my problems and look for solutions. I shall not be a porcupine with spines sticking to protect myself, hurting the people who are genuinely concern about me.

singing to the wind[5:02 pm]

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Saturday, February 18, 2012

Dreams. I wonder what they are made of. Aspirations I mean.

Dreams power people to do amazing things. I guess I just haven't been able to harness that force. I ought to be stronger. Live life happy. Embrace the essence of life like heaven on Earth. Live it to the fullest, find meaning and don't settle.

Passion. I hope it's not a dying flame inside. I need to reignite my soul with something... I'm not going to think so much anymore. Just do it. Find it. Embrace it. The calling within.

singing to the wind[6:31 pm]

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Saturday, February 11, 2012

Yay went out with Seok and Chunen today :) hah... it is true that we should be sincere to people. Be less calculating and more accepting of people who are different. Understanding and forgiveness is very important. We were just talking about our experience working with different people. I guess I need to learn from Seok and Chunen how to make friends. I realise if I feel that the person don't like me, it is very hard for me to like the person. I think 以德报怨 for me requires more training. I think I gotta try harder to not do stuff that is not very nice. I think if I dun have common topic with a person I won't talk. Some people may think I am anti-social. I guess I gotta try harder to interact with people who are different and accept them for who they are.

It is true that my experiences are from a very sheltered environment which leads to my narrow perspective of the world. I gotta learn to be more open minded. Hmm I like catching up with friends =D Hahh.. when I do make friends, they are the ones I will remember forever. In fact, every single one of you has a part in my memories. I do sincerely appreciates your willingness to talk to me. I am more of the passive but reciprocating type than the active-initiative type. But I ought to be more proactive. I will try :D

singing to the wind[11:01 pm]

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Wednesday, February 08, 2012

Drum rolls :) Introducing my new blogskin heehee. Original design by yours truly here. Ahhh I am so tired now. Figuring out the html codes is the toughest part because I don't know programing at all. Actually I really love my old blogskin also design by me ^^. So I might switch back to the old one sometime later too. Well here's something for a change. This blogskin is alot simpler than my previous one cos I din have much time. In fact, I only use 1 brush throughout the whole layout. Hmm, I like the closeness to nature in this background. I love the peace and serenity. Celebrating each and every glorious day with a breath of fresh air full of freedom, purity and hope.

I read some quotes while I was looking for inspirations.

"Happy moments, praise God. Difficult moments, seek God. Painful moments, trust God. Every moment, thank God."

I suddenly feel so religious, Don't get me wrong, I am not trying to preach anything and I do not refer to any religion in particular. I just find believing in omnipresent, powerful identities calming. It gives people strength and security. It gives people hope and comfort. I hope it's not escapism. Maybe you can call it seeking spiritual solace. Maybe it's better to think of religion as moral guidance. (A way of life) Actually this post is not about religion, it's about psychology.

singing to the wind[10:50 pm]

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Wednesday, February 01, 2012

I wonder if anyone remembers this 文章 I recently recalled while mulling over things. I guess it is wise to console myself that 有麝自然香，何须迎风扬。Don't feel inferior, if I do shine .. from within.. someday someone will see it. Many things can't be forced, shall just let nature take its course.

I love the zen state of mind. Especially peaceful and calming.

This also reminds me not to 无麝放假香。There is no need to do things to appear superior. It's deceiving. I believe that humility is a virtue that I am still learning. The people I admire most are amazing capable and truly humble. I hope to be like them one day.

singing to the wind[9:39 pm]

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